Sexual violence stems from gender inequality, the abuse of power and harmful stereotypes. Understanding what informed consent is, is key to building safer relationships and to effectively recognising when those boundaries are being crossed.
What is sexual violence? Definition and forms
Sexual violence is any sexual act carried out without the informed consent of the other person. It covers not only rape, but also sexual harassment, online harassment, sexist name-calling and unwanted touching — any behaviour that violates another person's bodily and sexual boundaries.
Forms of sexual violence include: rape and attempted rape, forced sex in a partnership or marriage, sexual harassment in the workplace or in public spaces, exhibitionism, voyeurism, unwanted sexual comments, and sharing intimate photos without the consent of the person depicted in them.
Informed consent — the foundation of safe relationships
Sexual consent must meet four key conditions. It must be voluntary and informed — no one should give it under pressure, fear, or the influence of alcohol or psychoactive substances. It must be active and unambiguous — the absence of refusal is not enough; explicit acceptance is required. It must be specific and revocable — consent to one act does not mean consent to another, and any consent can be withdrawn at any moment. It must be given by a person capable of giving it — children, people under the influence of intoxicants, or people in a state of intense fear cannot give valid consent.
Since the amendment to the Penal Code in 2023, the absence of consent is an element of the definition of a sexual offence (Article 197 of the Penal Code). Forced sex within marriage is a crime prosecuted ex officio.
How to ask for consent?
Asking for consent doesn't ruin the mood — it strengthens trust and safety in a relationship. Here are examples of questions you can ask:
- „Is this OK?”
- „May I…?”
- „Do you want me to continue?”
- „Tell me what you want.”
- „Are you comfortable?”
- „Do you want to stop?”
- „How do you feel?”
- „May I touch you?”
How to recognise the absence of informed consent?
The absence of consent can be expressed in words, but also through the body and behaviour. Verbal signals: a direct refusal, a request to stop, silence or non-response. Non-verbal signals: turning away, tensing the body, avoiding eye contact, crying, freezing (the so-called freeze response — a biological reaction to threat).
The „freeze” response is a biological reaction of the nervous system to threat — it is not a sign of consent. Many people experiencing sexual violence cannot move or speak during the event. It is not their fault.
Rape culture and harmful myths
Rape culture is a set of beliefs, norms and behaviours that trivialise sexual violence or shift responsibility from the perpetrator onto the victim. It includes myths such as: „if she really didn’t want it, she would have run away”, „she was asking for it with what she wore”, „since she was drunk, she knew what she was risking”, or „rape within marriage is impossible”.
These myths have a direct impact on whether people experiencing violence report it to the police, whether they seek psychological help, and how they are treated by the justice system.
Summary: education as the key to change
Talking about informed consent, sexual violence and its forms is a necessary condition for building a culture of respect and safety. Education in this area should start early — in the family, at school and in the workplace — and should cover both knowledge about boundaries and practical communication skills.
Feminoteka's specialists are available by phone and through an anonymous forum. Remember: what happened to you is not your fault.